Thursday, April 29, 2010

I'm having kind of a bad week:

1. Accidentally walked in on my boss taking a pee when we were out at a restaurant (gahhh!!! blushing just thinking about it. So embarrassing)

2. Gave a shaky, nervous introduction for a seminar speaker I was hosting yesterday. I can still hear my wavering voice blasting out into the auditorium...

3. Mad at myself for not asking a question of said seminar speaker, even though it was a relevant one that I'm still wondering about.

etc.

These are all small, stupid things that should be let go immediately. I realize this. Am I the only one that obsesses over social faux pas / a less than stellar performance for days afterward? Sometimes it feels like it.

This is all coming on the heels of a bad couple of months, actually. I've hesitated to put it out here, but I had a miscarriage at 12 weeks at the beginning of March and it has surprised me a little at how rough going it's been since then. For sure I am feeling better physically and emotionally, but it does still creep up on me at unexpected times. I'm trying really hard to work through it all in a healthy way but I'm still feeling unmotivated, unexcited about my lab work, and I'm totally dreading a presentation I have coming up next week. Just not like myself, I guess.

This too will pass, I know. Just wanted to put it out there, so hopefully in a couple of months I can come back here and realize this was a rough patch and I made it through.

2 Comments:

Blogger beckyd said...

I am so sorry to hear that Amy. You have been going through a rough patch. I do hope that things start getting better for you now, and you can get back to being yourself again!
I know it was hard to put this out there, but I think you will be flooded with love and support because of it.
Hope to see you soon!

1:54 PM  
OpenID lipcan3 said...

It's like those times when you have some sort of altercation with someone and then ten minutes after the argument you think of the perfect comeback. I end up replaying stuff like that in my head for the rest of the day, and the things like that, that happen in public, take longer to work themselves out of my internal monologue as well. Moving to another city usually fixes it.

10:40 PM  

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